It’s not the home they are used to. It lacks pictures of loved ones hung upon the walls and the sound of their pet running down the hall. But, what this new home gives women and children is refuge, and that can make leaving the familiar behind for the unknown a bit easier.

This leap of faith often starts with a call to the Verde Valley Sanctuary 24-hour help line. It may be a potential client who has been in a chronically abusive relationship that has been brewing for a while and there’s kids in the mix. Or, it could be a concerned family member or friend, or a referral from the emergency room or police department.

Whoever makes the call, a member of the Verde Valley Sanctuary domestic violence shelter is on the other line listening, ready to lend a hand.

No domestic violence case is identical. The Verde Valley Sanctuary’s staff understands this, but one thing remains the same from case to case: Their help is centered around safety planning.

Ensuring safety may mean removing someone from a situation the moment the phone is hung up, or waiting a few days to formulate a plan.

“Sometimes people leave immediately as a result of an immediate incident, so sometimes we are dealing with people who are showing up bloody and needing to go to the emergency room,” said Peg Trulson, therapeutic case manager at the Sanctuary’s shelter. “Sometimes we’re working with people where they know it’s escalating, and they are seeking an opportune time to leave.”

In some cases, the shelter in one’s area may not be the best match. Historically, domestic violence shelters have worked collaboratively, so people can be transported to other shelters.

“Sometimes people are looked for, so we do a lot of safety precautions around that,” Trulson said. “When I have worked in other places I have helped people get out of the country or go to different states, so it depends.”

If the Verde Valley Sanctuary identifies a client’s situation as being safe for them to come to the shelter, they will meet the client in a safe place for transport.

Getting women and children out of a dangerous situation may need to happen fast, so clients often show up to the shelter with just the clothes on their backs and a small bag. The Sanctuary provides everyone with essential resources, like clothes and food, so a person is able to regroup and acclimate to what can be a strange new place — some come to the shelter and sleep off months or maybe years of trauma.

On average, according to VVS marketing and development director Jennifer Perry, clients stay at the shelter for 36 days, and the Verde Valley Sanctuary’s policy is up to 120 days. But, Perry said they try and keep that loose — some people may need more time to get back on their feet. In some cases, people have stayed longer than 120 days.

The shelter site is secure and fenced off, and cameras are stationed around the property and monitored 24/7. Upon arrival, clients are given a tour of the home and a rundown on how to be safe in the community and live in the communal setting. The shelter does not feel like an institution, but rather a home. Down the main hall through the living room and to the kitchen is a long dining room table set to fit 28, give or take. There are small, but cozy rooms with four beds each, making for 28 beds total.

Behind a door next to the kitchen is a playroom. The walls are painted light blue and engender calmness, and toys are dispersed here and there. A TV on the wall plays Cartoon Network and is waiting to be watched by a wide-eyed toddler.

The Healing Process

Coping with an abusive situation can come in different forms, and some clients may have alcohol or substance dependencies. The shelter staff and case managers help in that department by offering independent or women empowerment sessions.

“Let’s just say that I meet with somebody and I find out that their strategy has been maybe they are drinking too much, that’s how they have dealt with it,” Trulson said. “It can be very triggering.”

Trulson also conducts group and individual session with the children in the shelter.

“Hands are for helping, and hands are for holding and not for hitting,” Trulson said she tells the kids to teach them right and wrong.

Much healing for the children also comes in the form of play, Perry said, which is why the shelter built a jungle gym in the backyard for kids to play and release their fears.

The shelter also helps clients recover essentials they weren’t able to bring with them for themselves or their kids — documents the mothers need to start over and find jobs.

“So, they have left. They are out of the abusive relationship, and yes they are safe right now, but now they need to find a job,” Perry said. “Many times, they arrive, and they don’t have any form of ID, they don’t have their license, they don’t have a Social Security card, and they don’t have their birth certificate. How do you get any one of those three documents without the other? It’s so intertwined.”

As if there isn’t enough on the clients’ minds, around the holidays, gifts may make their list of concerns. But the Sanctuary is already one step ahead of them.

In the back of the shelter property is a shed that houses shelves of holiday gifts and household items and. Bins full of toiletries and canned food items are stacked from floor to ceiling, and holiday gifts collect in the corner — a new bike for a lucky boy or girl, and a few action figures and dolls, among other things.

Although it may come with sacrifice and a few hurdles to jump through, Trulson said she has watched lives saved time and time again at the shelter. The success stories that come out of the Sanctuary are inspirational and can serve as motivation to others in similar situations of abuse.

“I was made aware of a past client a while ago who was trying to leave her relationship and had made the plan and was ready to go and had contacted a shelter. When she finally left, she got to the shelter and they said, ‘I’m sorry we’re full and we don’t have any room.’ She was devastated,” Perry said. “She ended up sleeping in her car for a few days, and then was able to find the Verde Valley Sanctuary. While it was very far away from her original home, this particular individual has found safety and is really doing very, very well.”

When it comes time to leave the shelter, a client may worry about what’s next. The Verde Valley Sanctuary can sometimes help with transitional housing, and put a security deposit down for a home or provide first month’s rent.

As clients close the door to the shelter for the last time, they may also be choosing to leave this chapter of their lives behind. Perry said remaining connected empowers some, while letting go empowers others. And whatever option the clients choose, it is their choice — a regained freedom they have the shelter and themselves to thank for.

Makenna Lepowsky can be reached at 282-7795 ext. 126, or email mlepowsky@larsonnewspapers.com