A 10-foot-long boa, 1-foot in diameter, has scaled its cage and slithered away, according to trusted sources. It is unknown why the snake escaped, but escape experts claim breeding seasons corresponding with monsoon rains may have put out a dinner buffet too scrumptious to resist.

 “The real danger is if he eats a poisonous toad,” one local said. “A hallucinating serpent is nothing to be trifled with.”

The snake has no prior record, but has been accused of having a forked tongue and on more than one instance was charged with attempted apple-picking, though the latter charge was dropped as no core evidence was found.

“He doesn’t blink. I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t blink,” one frightened pedestrian said.

This is the latest in a rash of reptile renegades in the fair city of Sedona — a large desert tortoise escaped … slowly … from a home last month — and many have blamed the cold-blooded feud that has been raging for years between the increasingly popular pets and their rival, the dog, whom reptile representatives claim is unfit to wear the title “Man’s Best Friend.”

Residents are urged to use caution if they should happen across this reptile. He is considered unarmed but dangerous. Warnings are being sent out to India and nearby Burma, where the snake is known to have relatives.

In all seriousness, if anyone sees a large boa in the Uptown area, please contact the Sedona Police Department at (928) 282-3100 or the Sedona Fire District (928) 282-6800.